


Mutually Beneficial

by Athra (getaway_machine)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Explicit Sex, Vicchan Lives, fake engagement, loosely inspired by The Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 22:50:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15253770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getaway_machine/pseuds/Athra
Summary: Yuuri has been working at Nikiforov Publishing for three years, trying to manage his workload as an editor as well as his crush on his boss, Victor Nikiforov. When Victor proposes an unusual business arrangement, Yuuri will find his typical routine turned upside down. . .





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much to [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold) for the beta help!
> 
> Thank you also to everyone on discord for cheering me on while I got through this fic. ♥

Yuuri jerked upright as a manila folder slapped down on the edge of his desk. “Nikiforov wants you in his office.” Yuuri blinked twice, and Phichit slowly came into view, grinning at him.

“What? He’s still here?”

“Yep! Better get going, slacker. Maybe he’s going to yell at you for falling asleep on the job.”

Yuuri sighed, running a hand through his hair as his best friend walked away. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but burning the midnight oil for work had never been quite so literal before, and he had started to wonder if he was going to see a second sunrise in a row from the office windows without ever making it home.

Deadlines were a bitch.

He’d never had such an impossible deadline in his three years of working for Nikiforov Publishing—but he’d never missed one either, and wasn’t planning to start now. So he’d fallen asleep for like five minutes. Mr. Nikiforov couldn’t really have noticed, right? His office was on the other end of the floor from a nobody-editor like Yuuri..

He quickly ran a hand through his hair, scrambling across his desk for his notes on the manuscript, nearly ripping his pages in his haste to get over to Mr. Nikiforov’s office. If he was already in trouble for something, keeping him waiting could only make it worse.

The assistant let him in immediately, and Yuuri tripped over the lint on the floor as he stepped through the door. What a great impression. His cheeks were flaming as his grip tightened on his notes.

“Mr. Nikiforov, I was told you wanted to see me…” 

“Yuuri!” The smile pointed his direction was nearly blinding, and the enthusiasm behind his name brought Yuuri up short. “I’ve been waiting for you, come in, come in, take a seat.”

Yuuri took a second to gather himself, but there was no getting around following directions. He moved further into the office, seating himself in front of the desk.

In his time with the company, Yuuri had rarely interacted with Mr. Nikiforov, but that hadn’t stopped him from noticing just how attractive the man was. Not only that, but he was fair and friendly—a friendliness Yuuri tended to avoid, seeing as how his ridiculous crush was already much too large.

Victor Nikiforov had written five bestselling novels before he’d even reached the age of 21, and Yuuri had read and consumed each of them, obsessed with the way he crafted words. Then Mr. Nikiforov had stepped out of the spotlight, choosing to edit novels rather than write them; Yuuri could swear you could still tell which novels had his touch though. It had been his dream since he was a kid to craft words as beautifully as Mr. Nikiforov did.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you here,” Mr. Nikiforov began, startling Yuuri out of his thoughts. Immediately he began to shuffle through his notes, intending to show that he was prepared to talk about the impending deadline—but he was waved off. “No, I don’t need to see those, I’m sure you’ll have the manuscript turned in on time. Somehow you always do.”

“Um,” Yuuri said, slowly lowering his handful of notes again. “Then why am I here, sir?”

“This may seem out of the blue, but the truth is, I need a favor.”

“A favor,” Yuuri parroted Mr. Nikiforov’s words back at him. They’d barely ever spoken - if this wasn’t about the impending deadline, what could it possibly be about?

Mr. Nikiforov leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers as he studied Yuuri. “You see, my family has asked that I return to Russia. My father wants to retire, and he intends for me to settle down, start a family, and take over the company from the Russian offices. I have no intention of leaving Japan, and had to come up with an excuse that would take off the pressure quickly, and that’s where you come in…” Mr. Nikiforov trailed off, and he seemed almost… nervous?

Shaking his head in confusion, Yuuri said: “I don’t understand? If this is about productivity to justify the Japanese branch, I can try my best to help motivate the office to produce more, but I’m not sure I’m the right person.”

“Actually, our productivity is quite high! No, Yuuri, I told my family that I’m already starting a family here, so of course I can’t move back to Russia, as my fiance and I want to raise our future children in Japan!”

“Oh. Um. Congratulations?” 

Mr. Nikiforov sighed, leaning back in his chair and pushing the fringe of his hair away from his eyes. “Yuuri, I want _you_ to be that fiance. I told my family we’re having a small wedding in your hometown, and I told them it will be next month.”

A beat passed.

Another.

All of Yuuri’s notes went scattering to the floor as he leapt from his chair and flapped his arms about. “ _What?!_ ”

“Please, just consider my proposal!” Mr. Nikiforov said, standing himself as he tried to interrupt Yuuri’s alarm. He raised a hand as if wanting to offer it in comfort, and then dropped it slowly. “I understand this is, well, unconventional—”

“You think?!” This had to be a sick joke of some kind. Had Mr. Nikiforov found out that Yuuri harbored a small, stupid crush on his stupid attractive boss? Okay, he was hot and Yuuri had always thought he was nice, but apparently he had a mean streak in him. “I don’t know why you would joke about such a thing-”

“It’s no joke,” Mr. Nikiforov interrupted, smoothing his hands down the front of his suit and regaining his composure even as Yuuri felt his continue to slip. “My parents won’t be able to help but approve when I tell them it’s you. You’re hardworking, dedicated, a model employee. You make manuscripts sing with your insightful editing work.”

“That’s… that’s not…”

“It would be a benefit for you as well, of course,” Mr. Nikiforov continued, ignoring Yuuri’s sputtering for the moment. “As your husband, it would not be out of the ordinary for me to provide you with certain benefits at work. My assistant tells me you’ve been working on a manuscript of your own, of course I would read it over—”

“We would _actually_ get married? Not just… not just fake it?!” Yuuri’s voice was inching higher and higher, and he couldn’t seem to stamp down his panic.

“How else would I convince my parents this is real? They’ll want to attend the wedding, of course. You’d need to move in with me, but my home is spacious enough, you can stay completely separate if you wish. Like I said, I would read and review your manuscript, I’m sure it’s lovely and would push through just fine. I know you put in for vacation time to go home in a few weeks, we could tell your family then. Is there anything else you would want, Yuuri? I would strive to make you happy, despite the… unconventional circumstances.”

“You… you’re holding my vacation time hostage?”

“What? No!” Victor sat back down, hastily sorting through his desk until he found the page he was looking for, presenting it to Yuuri, who took it and looked at it blindly. “I already signed off on your time, Yuuri. We don’t have to tell your family if you don’t want, I just thought…” he trailed off, finally having run out of words to explain this insane idea of his.

Yuuri fell back into the chair, his vacation paperwork hanging forgotten from his fingertips. 

Was he actually considering this? _Could_ he actually consider this? Having his manuscript read by Victor would be a dream come true, but would it count for anything if it happened in this manner? Yes, he wanted to be published, but he wanted to deserve his publishing. He’d never been brave enough to actually submit his manuscript anywhere. He’d considered submitting it to Nikiforov Publishing once upon a time, but these days it simply lay forgotten in the bottom of his desk.

Still… He didn’t want Mr. Nikiforov to move back to Russia, either. He was an incredible editor, who managed to bring out the beauty in whatever he was given to work with. Yuuri loved working for Nikiforov Publishing, and couldn’t imagine working under anyone else. Would they even keep the Japan offices open, without a Nikiforov to run them?

“I… I want honest feedback on my work, I don’t want to be published as a bribe.”

“Of course, Yuuri. I take the quality of the work we put out very seriously.”

“And… and, you’re right, I need to tell my family. They’d be so hurt if they heard I got married and didn’t tell them.” It hit Yuuri then, exactly what that might mean. “But I can’t tell them the truth, can I?”

“I don’t think that would work, no,” Mr. Nikiforov agreed. He did sound almost sorry for it.

“I don’t want them to worry about me. So I guess, on my vacation… what I want is for them to think I’m happy.”

Victor winced. “I will try to make you actually happy, Yuuri. I don’t want to force you to pretend.”

Yuuri just nodded, not knowing what to say. In many other circumstances, this would be a dream come true—how many people could say they married their childhood idol? But this would be nothing but a business transaction, as far as he could see, and emotional well-being didn’t play into such things.

“Is it a deal, then?” Mr. Nikiforov asked after a long moment of silence, offering his hand to shake.

Yuuri hesitated for a second more, before reaching out and shaking. “It’s a deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They travel to Hasetsu and the pretending begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to my wonderful betas: [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold)!

The few days after Mr. Nikiforov’s strange, impromptu proposal were an absolute whirlwind. Yuuri suddenly found his phone buzzing at all hours with texts.

_> > What’s your favorite color, Yuuri? _

_> > Do I need to pack warm clothes for Hasetsu? _

_> > Can we visit the beach? What’s your favorite food? _

_> > Yuuuuri, I need to know everything about you to convince my family we’re in love! _

It was depressing and exhilarating all at once. Yuuri had never had someone so interested in him before, and he was embarrassed by the attention. He kept reminding himself that Mr. Nikiforov didn’t _actually_ care about all the things he asked, but it still felt strangely nice. He kept his own return texts short and simple, not wanting to bother Mr. Nikiforov unnecessarily. The one time he sucked up his courage and asked a question of his own about Makkachin, he’d received a slew of photos and had to put his phone down because he was smiling too much.

Yes, this impending marriage was going to be a sham, and they would be divorced as soon as Mr. Nikiforov could reasonably do so… but it was still better to enjoy the company of the man he admired so much, wasn’t it?

Anyway, Mr. Nikiforov was just being nice. Yuuri tried not to think about it too hard.

There was so much work to catch up on or assign out as appropriate before their vacation that he and Mr. Nikiforov didn’t have a chance to speak again privately during those days. Yuuri finished his first pass at the manuscript that was under deadline, but reluctantly had to pass it off to Phichit for final revisions and discussions with the author.

Two days before their flight, Yuuri finally worked up the nerve to call his parents. They were surprised to have never heard of Yuuri’s “fiancé” before, and even more surprised to learn that very same fiancé was the author whose books sat treasured on his bookshelf—but in the end, they were just pleased and excited for Yuuri to come home.

Four days after Mr. Nikiforov’s unconventional proposal, Yuuri stood near the check-in counters at the airport, picking at the fraying ends of his sweater as he strained onto his toes, looking for any sign of Mr. Nikiforov’s arrival. He glanced toward the departing flights monitors—boarding began in one hour—and his fingers twitched on the handle of his suitcase. A moment later, he finally spotted a head of silver hair over the crowd. “Ah! Mr. Nikiforov!” he called, waving to catch his attention.

Mr. Nikiforov adjusted course to meet him, smiling. “Yuuri! You must call me Victor, you know,” he laughed as he strode up.

Yuuri flushed. It was hard to imagine doing such a thing. “Ah… right. Are you ready?”

Mr. Nik— Victor gestured for him to lead the way with an easy, relaxed stance. They made it through security and to the terminal with plenty of time to board, thank goodness. Still, Yuuri couldn’t help his jittery leg as they sat waiting at the gate, and he checked and double-checked his boarding pass.

“Are you nervous, Yuuri?” Victor asked, laying a hand on his knee.

Yuuri jerked, and the hand immediately withdrew. “No, no! I’m just… I’m excited to go home,” Yuuri told a half-truth. “My mom is excited to meet you. I didn’t tell her much.”

“I’m excited to meet her, too!” Mr. Nikiforov said, and he looked only slightly abashed at the unbelieving look from Yuuri. “Well, I am. I haven’t taken a vacation in years, and the hot springs sound so lovely!”

Ah. Yuuri smiled, despite himself. He could understand the excitement about having time off of work; with how overworked he’d been lately, he couldn’t imagine how Mr. Nikiforov must feel. Relaxing in the hot springs would likely do him a world of good, even if there was nothing else exciting about this particular vacation.

The announcer called for boarding, and Yuuri perked up, grabbing for his suitcase. “Looks like that’s us!”

\---

The flight to Fukuoka was uneventful. Yuuri spent the first half an hour with his headphones in his ears, but finally took them off to listen to Victor chatter at him for the rest of the flight. He had been afraid it would still make him nervous, talking to his boss this way, but Victor made the conversation easy, and Yuuri found himself smiling through it.

The nerves returned as they boarded the train to Hasetsu, and his answers to Victor’s continuous questions became shorter and shorter. Victor must not have noticed, as he held up his end of the conversation just fine. When they pulled into the station, Yuuri fumbled with the handle on his suitcase and kept his head down as they exited.

“Yuuri!” he heard a voice call, and he looked up to see Minako waiting for them—holding an embarrassingly large ‘Welcome Home!!!’ banner. 

Yuuri could feel his face flushing immediately as Victor let out a soft chuckle next to him. “Looks like someone is excited you’re home,” he teased.

“It’s nice to see you, Minako,” Yuuri said softly, coming to a stop before his old teacher. “Thank you for meeting us.”

“Yuuri, don’t be so formal!” Minako scolded him, folding the banner. “Is this your mysterious fiancé?” Her eyes swept over to Victor, who grinned happily at her. 

“Ah, sorry! Minako, this is… Victor,” he hesitated only a moment at being so familiar. “Victor, Minako is an old family friend.”

“I’m very pleased to meet you,” Victor beamed.

Minako’s eyes narrowed for only a moment before she returned the sentiment. “Well, let’s get you home, Yuuri. Your mom has been cooking up a storm since you called.”

Thankfully, she didn’t ask too many questions on the short drive home. Still, Yuuri could never even hope to feel prepared as they pulled up to the onsen. The whole situation was too surreal.

Minako went ahead, leaving them to sort out their bags, and Victor paused before they walked in. “I know we haven’t had enough time to discuss particulars,” he told Yuuri softly, “but I will do my best to make your family like me, Yuuri.”

“I’m sure they will,” Yuuri said, staring at the ground and tightening his grip on his suitcase. Victor hesitated for another moment like he wanted to say something else, but in the end he kept silent and waited until Yuuri walked in, following close behind.

There was a bark as they walked in the door, and Yuuri’s mood picked up for the first time since walking off the train. “Vicchan!” he called happily, stooping down and pulling the small poodle into his arms, laughing as Vicchan immediately starting licking his face.

“Who is this?” Victor asked, and Yuuri looked over to see Victor smiling softly at him. 

“This is my dog, Vicchan,” Yuuri told him, turning so that Victor could reach out and scruff the small dogs ears.

“He’s missed you,” a voice caught Yuuri’s attention, and he turned to see his mother standing in the doorway. “We all have.”

Yuuri let Vicchan down, bowing towards his mother as the dog started sniffing Victor’s legs. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since I was home.” Straightening up, he added, “Mom, this is Victor.”

“We know you’ve been busy,” Hiroko said. “But we’re so glad to meet your fiancé!” She turned towards Victor. “Thank you for visiting our home.”

“I’m very happy to be here,” Victor told her, and Yuuri thought that he was a very good actor, as he almost believed that were true.

“But please, come in, come in! You can leave your things in the entryway for now, you must want to relax and eat after travelling.”

They left their suitcases against the wall near the stairwell as she suggested, following her further into the inn and taking a seat at the family table. “My mom makes the best food,” Yuuri told Victor as they settled. “At the very least, we will eat well while we’re here.”

“It’s okay Yuuri,” Victor answered, smiling at him. “I really am happy to be here.”

Yuuri looked away. He understood why Mr. Nikiforov would keep the act up all the time, but part of him wished he wouldn’t. He had missed home, but he knew that it could never compare to Tokyo for someone who didn’t have the nostalgic factor. Tourism in his town had slowed down significantly enough that his family's onsen was the last still open, and mostly catered to locals. This vacation would likely be quite boring for Mr. Nikiforov, and there wasn’t much Yuuri could do to change that.

His father, sister, and Minako joined them at the table, and as his mother brought out dinner, Yuuri wasn’t all that surprised to smell katsudon. “It was always Yuuri’s favorite,” she told Victor proudly.

“My mom’s is the best,” Yuuri confirmed. “I don’t like eating it from anywhere else.”

“Then I am excited to try it!” Victor exclaimed as he leaned slightly into Yuuri. “I am always happy to learn more about my Yuuri.”

Yuuri flushed and looked away as Minako laughed. “Ask Hiroko to pull out the albums later,” she said, and Yuuri jerked upright with alarm.

“Minako, no!”

Unconcerned with Yuuri’s protests, Victor actually seemed excited about this prospect. “I’d love to look through Yuuri’s baby pictures!”

Yuuri stared at him, trying to convey that this was not something he needed to do in order to keep up appearances—but it was too late, because his mother also seemed thrilled by the prospect. “I might have some of his old writing projects, too,” she told Victor.

“Mom, _no_!” Yuuri’s protest was even more vehement this time, his arms flapping in panic. “Please, that’s not necessary!”

Victor put an arm around him, soothing. “I would love to read my Yuuri’s early work, but not if he’s uncomfortable with it.”

Yuuri’s heart was still pounding, but he took several deep breaths. He wasn’t sure he wanted to let Mr. Nikiforov read any of his words yet, but certainly not the ones he’d written when first trying to emulate Mr. Nikiforov’s own work. “Let’s eat before it gets cold,” he said, deflecting the conversation away from any further talk of his writing, glad when everyone turned to their food without protest.

“Oh!” Victor took his first bite of dinner and his eyes lit up. “ _Vkusno_! This is _amazing_!”

Yuuri knew that reaction was genuine, at least. His mother’s cooking was definitely something to rave about. He relaxed as his pictures and writing seemed to be forgotten, and tucked in to dinner himself.

\---

Conversation continued to flow easily after dinner, and Yuuri was aware of his family asking Victor questions about their relationship, but he wasn’t contributing much to the conversation. He felt bad leaving Victor to manage the lie of their romance, but the katsudon was warm in his stomach, and the day of travel was finally leeching away, leaving him exhausted. He felt himself starting to doze off, letting Victor’s rich voice lull him as he conversed with his parents.

Some time later he felt himself being gently shaken, and his eyes blinked open, bleary. Belatedly he realized he was leaning on Victor’s shoulder, and his glasses knocked askew as he jerked upright. “Ah! Sorry for falling asleep!” he exclaimed, looking around and realizing no one else was left at the table.

Victor didn’t seem bothered that Yuuri had been sleeping on him, but he felt bad about it anyway.

“It’s okay, Yuuri. Your family is lovely. Mari offered to take our things upstairs, I hope it’s okay that I said yes.”

“Of course,” Yuuri said. He’d apologize to Mari for not helping later.

Victor stood, helping Yuuri to his feet. “Well, Sleeping Beauty, I think it’s time to put you to bed.”

Victor’s voice was light, teasing, but a frown took over Yuuri’s face. “You don’t have to do that,” he murmured, looking away. “You don’t have to pretend and flirt when we’re alone.”

Victor turned to face him, frowning. “Yuuri—”

“It’s fine,” Yuuri cut him off. As Victor tried again to say something, Yuuri spoke over him, “You’re right, we should get some sleep. It’s late.”

Yuuri could tell that Victor was unsatisfied with the conversation, but what else was there to say? He walked out of the dining room, leaving Victor no choice but to follow.

They ran into Hiroko in the hall, and she smiled at her son. “I was just wondering if I should wake you,” she said. “I hope you two will be comfortable for your stay. Your old room is small, but I think cozy enough.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Mom. Thank you.”

“We’ve laid out new bedding,” Hiroko continued. “Please let us know if you need anything else, Yuuri.”

“We will,” Yuuri assured her. They all said their goodnights, and Yuuri led Victor upstairs to his childhood bedroom.

He hesitated as he closed the door behind them, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry it’s cramped—”

“It’s fine, Yuuri,” Victor cut him off. “Your mom left plenty of blankets it looks like, I can sleep on the floor.”

“What? No! No no, I couldn’t ask you to— _I_ should sleep on the floor,” Yuuri protested.

“It’s your home,” Victor argued with a frown. “You’ve seemed uncomfortable since we arrived. Please let me try and help you rest well, at least.”

“I’m not—that’s—”

“It’s okay, Yuuri, I know this is a very strange situation. Please tell me what I can do to make this easier on you. Would you rather I return to Tokyo tomorrow, so you can visit with your family alone?”

“No, no!” Yuuri protested immediately. “If… if we’re actually to be married, even for a little while, my mother would be heartbroken if she didn’t have a chance to get to know you. So please… for her sake, please… I will try hard tomorrow to make this seem real,” Yuuri said with a bow.

He saw Victor’s hand in the edges of his vision reaching out towards him, but as he straightened the hand fell away without touching him. 

“I will do my best as well,” he assured Yuuri. “Though you and your family make it easy,” he added, brightening up as he let the seriousness of the conversation fall away. Yuuri envied that ability. “Your father told me we should soak in the onsen tomorrow. A real onsen, Yuuri! I’ve never visited one in Tokyo, you know. I’m very excited! And Mari said something about a castle?”

“It’s not a real castle,” Yuuri relaxed marginally. “It’s a front for a ninja house.”

“Really?! Ninjas?! That’s even better!”

Yuuri laughed, and Victor grinned at him. “See, Yuuri? We’ll have a fun trip! This is a vacation after all, we should try to enjoy ourselves.”

“Okay,” Yuuri’s smile was still on his face as he made himself accept Victor’s excitement. “You’re right, we should have fun while we’re here.”

“Great!” Victor reached out, snagging a pillow and a small pile of blankets before Yuuri could protest. “Rest well then, Yuuri, sounds like we have a lot to do tomorrow!”

“Victor, are you sure—”

“Please let me do this for you,” Victor said, cutting off Yuuri’s protests. “You are doing a lot for me right now, and I want to make you comfortable.”

Yuuri felt the heat of a flush stain his cheeks once more. “O-okay,” Yuuri finally agreed, earning another smile from Victor.

Together, they spread out the blankets in the small floor space, and then dug through their suitcases, taking turns in the bathroom to change into pajamas. It wasn’t long before Yuuri was slipping under the sheets of his old bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering how his life had taken this sudden, strange turn as his boss lay not three feet away on the floor.

“Goodnight Yuuri,” Victor called softly, and Yuuri rolled towards the edge of the bed, closer to the melodic tone of Victor’s voice.

“Goodnight, Victor.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor become a little more comfortable with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold) for your help!

Yuuri woke to the sun streaming in through his window. He sat up slowly and stretched, and quickly became aware that Mr. Nikiforov wasn’t in the room with him. The blankets and pillow from his makeshift bed had been folded and set on the desk.

He was a little disappointed, if he was honest with himself.

The door creaked open and Yuuri turned and smiled as he saw Vicchan nosing his way into the room. “Hey, boy,” Yuuri swung his legs off the bed and reached down to lift the small dog into his lap.

He spent a few minutes playing with Vicchan, happy to see and spend time with his dog again; but he knew he couldn’t avoid the world forever, so with a sigh he set Vicchan down and slipped into the bathroom to shower.

\---

Freshly showered, Yuuri went downstairs with Vicchan trotting at his heels. He hesitated outside the door to family living space as he heard Mr. Nikiforov’s voice, loud and excited and carrying easily through the space.

“He is so cute! I didn’t think my Yuuri could be cuter than he is, but little Yuuri gives him a run for his money,” Victor was saying.

“He’s been a heartbreaker all his life.” Yuuri could hear the smile in his mother’s voice as she responded—and he realized they must be looking at old family photos.

He didn’t _really_ mean to eavesdrop, but found himself frozen as he listened. Horrendously embarrassed, he shook himself and went to put a stop to this trip down memory lane—but a hand caught his arm, and he turned to see Mari standing there. 

“Come help me in the laundry room,” Mari told him, turning and walking away with the clear expectation that Yuuri would follow.

For a moment he hesitated, wanting to rescue Mr. Nikiforov from having to pretend to be interested in his childhood, but he gave up and followed her.

Mari didn’t say anything when Yuuri slipped quietly into the laundry room behind her, just put a basket in his hands. Yuuri started sorting, helping her fold the clean sheets. 

They worked together in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Mari said, “Victor seems nice.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“I know you don’t call home much, but we would have been interested in meeting your boyfriend, you know?”

“I’m sorry, Mari,” Yuuri said, abashed and unsure how to explain this away. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew it was serious.”

Mari laughed, finishing the sheet she was working on and putting her basket to the side. “I’d say an engagement is pretty serious. Just tell me this, little brother. Are you happy?”

“Yes,” Yuuri answered immediately. It was sort of true—true enough that she didn’t seem to question him. He was happy to have this chance to get to know Victor, to spend a little bit of time with him and learn how human he could be.

Mari nodded and tossed Yuuri a bag of dirty linens to sort for washing. “Okay.”

\---

When the laundry was finished, Yuuri headed into the living space. He didn’t stop to listen this time, but stepped right into the room, catching Mr. Nikiforov’s attention immediately. “Good morning, Yuuri! I thought you were going to sleep all day!”

Hiroko laughed as she stood. “Our Yuuri has never been a morning person. I prepared bentos for the two of you, I assumed you would be out for the day?”

“Thanks, Mom,” Yuuri acknowledged with a smile as she left the room with a brief pat to his cheek. Once she was gone, Yuuri turned back to Mr. Nikiforov. “Did you sleep okay? I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you.”

“I told you it was fine, Yuuri. Are we spending today out? I’d love to see the ninja castle!”

Yuuri nodded, laughing at Mr. Nikiforov’s enthusiasm. “If that’s what you’d like then of course. It’s your vacation, too.” 

Yuuri hadn’t found Hasetsu Castle so interesting since he was a kid, but he supposed that’s what happened when you grew up with something in your backyard. Mr. Nikiforov seemed excited though, so after a quick breakfast and packing the bentos his mom had prepared into his backpack, they were off to see what little sights there were in Yuuri’s small home town.

Mr. Nikiforov’s enthusiasm buoyed Yuuri throughout the day. After Hasetsu Castle they visited Minako briefly in her ballet studio—“I can’t believe you used to dance, Yuuri, I had no idea!”—and then jogged to Ice Castle. “You used to ice skate, too? My Yuuri is so talented!” Victor exclaimed in front of the Nishigori’s, even going over the top with a hug.

Yuuri was already exhausted by the time he led Victor to the beach to enjoy their bentos for a late lunch. He’d run very quickly by the onsen first, to pick up Vicchan, who was now happily chasing the surf and barking at any interesting shells he found. It eased something in Yuuri, to watch his dog playing so happily.

“You seem to have had a happy life here,” Victor said as he put down his now-empty bento. “Thank you for introducing me to these things that had such an influence on you.”

“Ah…” Yuuri picked at the remains of his own bento, eyes down on his chopsticks. “I hope today didn’t bore you. I know it’s not much around here, but…”

“Don’t be silly, today was wonderful! I’ve enjoyed seeing the places where you grew up.”

Yuuri set his bento aside, drawing his knees up and caging them in with his arms as he watched Vicchan play a few yards away. Victor leaned back on his palms, not pushing Yuuri into talking again right away, letting the silence fall around them for a few minutes.

Eventually, Victor broke the silence once more. “I know this is strange, and I know it must be uncomfortable for you, Yuuri. Once we’re back in Tokyo, we’ll find a way to manage this, I promise. I will try to be a good husband to you.”

“You don’t have to do that!” At Yuuri’s protest, Victor turned towards him with a frown. “What I mean is… I know you don’t really want to marry me. When we’re not around family, you don’t need to pretend. It’s okay.”

“Yuuri, that’s not...”

“Just be yourself. If that’s… I don’t know, being my boss, or my friend, or… it’s fine, as long it’s you.”

Victor’s frown softened. “Okay, Yuuri. I can do that for you.”

Yuuri relaxed, finding that he trusted that Victor meant to take care of him, despite himself.

Vicchan, wet from the surf, ran to Victor’s lap and startled a laugh out of him. “I think someone got tired of playing alone,” Victor said as he scruffed behind the dog's ears.

“Well, come on then,” Yuuri said with a grin, standing and leaning down to catch Vicchan’s attention. “Let’s go, boy!” Yuuri took off, Vicchan at his heels. Victor wasn’t far behind, joining them down in the surf to splash and play through the afternoon.

\---

They unwound on the beach until Vicchan was panting and exhausted, and Yuuri’s own worries felt lighter than they had before. 

As the sun was starting to set, they headed back towards the onsen, and Victor wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. He knew it was to keep up appearances with the family—his dad was outside working on the landscaping as they walked up—but Yuuri selfishly leaned in towards Victor anyway.

Vicchan happily lapped at the water set out for him and then went to flop on his bed in the corner. “I guess we wore him out,” Yuuri said with a fond smile.

“He missed you,” Hiroko said from the kitchen doorway. “Do you think you’ll want to take him back to Tokyo? Will you two be getting a house?”

“Oh, well, uh…” Yuuri floundered, looking to Victor. “Yuuri and I will be moving into my house together,” Victor answered easily, giving Yuuri’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, “and I’m sure my Makkachin would be glad for the company!”

“I wouldn’t want to impose…” Yuuri mumbled, staring at the floor.

“Yuuri,” Victor drawled out his name. “Vicchan wouldn’t be an imposition, I want you to be happy when you move in! Besides, he’s adorable.”

“Well, you don’t have to talk it over now,” Hiroko cut in. “I would miss having Vicchan running around here, but he always was Yuuri’s dog. Victor, please make yourself comfortable—Yuuri, would you help me in the kitchen please?”

Yuuri obediently followed his mother into the kitchen, where she immediately put him to work washing and chopping vegetables for dinner.

“Yuuri, are you happy?” she asked him once he was settled into his task.

Yuuri frowned down at the vegetables, considering how to answer. “Mari asked me that, too. Do I not seem happy?”

Hiroko hummed, noncommittal. “Victor is obviously smitten with you, but you’ve never told us about him before, and you seem quite reserved. He’s a nice man, but if you’re not happy about this engagement…”

“No, no, nothing like that, I swear,” Yuuri cut her off. “It’s just…” Yuuri paused, struggling with the words. He didn’t want to lie to his mom, but he couldn’t exactly tell her the truth either. “Our engagement happened so fast,” he said at last. “It’s hard to believe it’s real, sometimes? I never expected someone like Victor to be interested in someone like me.”

Hiroko frowned, putting down her knife and turning fully towards her son. “Victor seems to feel quite lucky to have found ‘someone like you’, and why shouldn’t he? You’re an amazing man, Yuuri. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Yuuri’s shoulders hunched as he focused entirely on the greens in his hands and the water rinsing through them. He knew family was meant to see the best in you, but Yuuri would rather be honest with himself about what he brought to the table. For Victor, it was a way out of the mess he was in with his family and that was all. He was genuinely kind, but that was just who he was—it wasn’t because of Yuuri.

He was also a good enough actor to have fooled his mother into thinking he was smitten, which Yuuri supposed he was grateful for, though it twisted something in him. Faking a relationship in front of his parents was harder than he imagined, and he’d been doing it for less than twenty-four hours!

Yuuri wanted it to be real, and he knew how dangerous that feeling was.

Hiroko sighed, letting Yuuri have his silence, and they continued cooking without her pushing the issue further. When dinner was ready, she stopped only long enough to say to Yuuri, “Please let yourself be happy. You deserve it.” She placed a tray of plates in his hands to carry out to the dining room, not needing an answer.

Victor was laughing with his father and Mari when they came out with dinner, and Yuuri slid into the space next to him after passing around the dinner plates. Mindful of the fact that Victor had been unfairly carrying the weight of selling their relationship to his family, Yuuri leaned in and lightly kissed Victor’s cheek as he sat. Immediately he blushed and looked away, completely missing the answering flush on Victor’s own cheeks—but he didn’t protest when Victor reached out and held his hand through most of dinner.

\---

They stayed downstairs with Yuuri’s family for a few hours, and Victor got bolder with his touches. First just caressing Yuuri’s hand as he held it, and then laying his palm against Yuuri’s back, rubbing up and down his arm, kisses to his cheek… it was maddening. Yuuri knew that being affectionate would be more convincing to a supposed engagement, but it was also so distracting.

And then, the kicker: his dad had insisted they try the onsen, which of course Victor was very enthusiastic about.

Yuuri had never felt uncomfortable in an onsen, or with his own naked body. But it felt different with Victor, and he was careful to keep his eyes averted as he showered off quickly. He felt exposed and embarrassed in a way he never had before. He refused to look at Victor until they had both slipped into the onsen waters, and he prayed the hot waters covered his flush.

“Yuuri, you should have told me the onsen was so wonderful, we could have soaked last night,” Victor said with a sigh, leaning back against the edge and relaxing immediately into the water.

Yuuri didn’t respond, just stole glances at Victor out of the corner of his eye, enjoying the muscles of his arms as he stretched them out along the ledge.

How ridiculous, to be sitting in the onsen, silently lusting over his business-deal-fiancé. It would be funny if it weren’t so absurd and sad.

“Yuuri,” Victor said with a small smile, not opening his eyes. “Are you enjoying watching me?”

“What? No!” Yuuri insisted, turning his gaze stubbornly away.

Laughing, Victor sat forward, moving closer to Yuuri. “It’s okay. Maybe we should snuggle in the onsen? Is that the sort of thing and engaged couple would do?”

“N-no… that’s inappropriate…”

That didn’t stop Victor’s arm from coming down around his shoulder. He leaned in to whisper in Yuuri’s ear. “Do you want to kiss me, Yuuri? Your family hasn’t seen us kiss yet.”

Flushing deeper, Yuuri pulled away slightly, though he didn’t shove Victor’s arm off. “That’s a private thing!” He couldn’t make himself look at Victor as he said it, because he very much _did_ want to kiss Victor, and he didn’t want to be made fun of for it. He knew that things weren’t like that between them, not for real.

To his credit, Victor didn’t continue to take advantage of Yuuri’s embarrassment at being caught admiring him. He merely sat back again with a small hum, letting his arm drape casually around Yuuri’s shoulders. That, at least, was becoming almost normal.

Though he didn’t remove his arm again, the rest of their soak was uneventful and even soothing. When Yuuri could allow himself to turn his brain off and relax around Victor, he found that he very much enjoyed his company, and the conversation between them flowed easily.

Later, as they were getting out of the onsen, they turned in opposite directions by unspoken agreement, wrapping towels around themselves and dressing in loose sweats in separate spaces before heading upstairs.

The atmosphere between them felt tense as they entered Yuuri’s room, though he was sure that must be in his head. Still, he was conscious of the feeling as he watched Victor grab the blankets and pillows from the desk, intending to set out the makeshift bed on the floor again. Yuuri felt both guilt and desire welling up in him. 

“Victor, you don’t… you really don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

Victor looked up at him, surprised. “I thought we went over this. It’s no trouble at all.”

“It’s just… I know you’d be more comfortable on the bed, and it’s… I would feel better, knowing you weren’t uncomfortable on the floor. I don’t mind sharing, I know the bed is small but there’s room. If… if you don’t mind, I mean,” he finished, realizing only as he finished that perhaps Victor would prefer sleeping on the floor rather than risk sharing a small bed with someone whose attraction was probably so obvious.

Victor didn’t say anything like that, though. He straightened up, pillows still in his arms. “Okay. If you’re comfortable with it, it would be nice to not be on the floor.”

Yuuri nodded, taking off his glasses and setting them on the nightstand before crawling under the covers and pressing his back against the wall. He drew his arms up against his chest, hugging them against himself. He hoped he was leaving enough room for Victor to lay comfortably, without having to worry about him.

Victor turned the light off, and a moment later Yuuri felt his weight on the bed, shifting and settling. It was hard to tell in the dim light, but Yuuri thought Victor’s eyes were still open too, watching him. Yuuri tried to think of something to say… and finally just settled with, “Goodnight, Victor.”

“Goodnight, Yuuri,” came the soft reply, and Yuuri closed his eyes, letting himself drift slowly off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left comments, kudos, and subscribed to this fic! I appreciate each and every one of you, and I'm so glad you're enjoying ♥


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold) for being the best betas!

Yuuri came awake slowly, feeling cozier and more comfortable than usual. He had been having a great dream… about him and Victor… and his hips shifted in his half-awake state, seeking a more comfortable position. He felt movement behind him and whined, pulling the blankets tighter around himself and burrowing into his pillow.

There was a breath of a laugh across his ear, and Yuuri slowly blinked his eyes open, blearily realizing that the ‘blanket’ he had been pulling tighter around himself was, in fact, an arm—and it came attached to a chest pressed firmly against his back.

Immediately he was wide awake, jolting and shaking off the arm and rolling over to press his back against the wall, coming face to face with Victor. Victor who had just been… while he was dreaming about…. _Oh no._

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to… to be familiar!” _I didn’t mean to pop a boner while totally taking advantage of being in the same bed as you,_ his brain unhelpfully contributed. Thankfully he didn’t just spit it out loud.

Victor had drawn his arm back, and didn’t reach out to Yuuri now, but he did offer a small smile. “I was the one being too familiar, I think,” he said, before stretching and sitting up. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Yuuri. The bed is so small, but I should have kept to myself better.”

“No, no, please. I asked you to sleep here, it’s okay!”

Victor smiled down at him again. “I suppose,” he agreed slowly. “Maybe it’s better if we do become closer after all, hmm?”

Yuuri sat up with a frown, carefully keeping the blankets bunched over his lap. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we should practice being closer. You know… so people don’t start to wonder why you’re so jumpy around your fiancé?”

Yuuri’s brain short-circuited, and all of the blood that wasn’t currently—well—rushed to his face instead. “Practice?” he could only hope his voice wasn’t as high in reality as it sounded in his head.

Victor was nodding, leaning towards him, crowding back into his personal space. “Can I kiss you, Yuuri?” he murmured.

Yuuri couldn’t help the way he licked his lips, the way his gaze flicked down to Victor’s lips. He had imagined those lips kissing him many times, but he’d never thought it might happen in reality, never thought….

Victor wasn’t moving, but his gaze was locked on Yuuri’s face and Yuuri realized he was waiting for an answer. He gave the barest nod, and Victor closed the distance, lips brushing lightly across his own. Yuuri wasn’t sure what to do, how to respond, when he was getting everything he wanted, and yet nothing at the same time. Victor must have felt his hesitation, because he brought a hand up to Yuuri’s cheek, guiding his head to tilt just so, until Yuuri’s mouth fell open to him and Victor’s tongue dipped inside.

Yuuri’s morning hard-on came raging back with an embarrassing vengeance and he jerked back, head banging against the wall behind him. “Ow!”

“Yuuri,” Victor reached out to him, concern etched across his features. “ Are you okay? Was that-”

“This was a bad idea!” Yuuri cut him off, scrambling out of bed. “We should… I should… I need to shower!” His voice had gone slightly panicky, even he could hear it, but he dove for the bathroom door, slamming it between himself and Victor, breathing deep once the barrier was between them.

He leaned forward, forehead resting against the door, as he tried to calm down. That was such a mistake. _This isn’t real!_ He kept trying to remind himself, but he could still feel the ghost of Victor’s lips against his, and oh, he was doing such a bad job of calming down.

After a moment there was a light knock on the door and Yuuri pulled back as though it had bitten him.

“I’m going to freshen up in the other bathroom,” he heard Victor say. He didn’t respond, swallowing hard. “Yuuri…” there was a long pause, but even though Yuuri waited, it didn’t seem Victor was going to continue. “I’ll see you downstairs,” he finally said instead.

Yuuri didn’t respond, and after a moment he heard Victor’s footsteps moving away.

He allowed himself a minute to breathe, to try and refocus his thoughts, before he turned on the shower and stepped in. He washed quickly, then looked down at himself, hesitating. He could just turn on the cold water…

But, no. After a moment he gave in to what he really wanted to do and took himself in hand, leaning back against the shower wall and stroking himself slowly. He had been attracted to Victor for so long… first, as a dream to aspire to, an inspiration to chase. Then as a man, because Victor was the most attractive person he’d ever met. As a person, when he learned what a fair boss Victor was, how hard he worked, how much care and dedication he put into his job.

Finally, over these last few days, he thinks about Victor as a friend. His strokes became firmer as he thought about Victor on the beach, waking up in Victor’s arms… Victor kissing him…

He came quickly, not trying to hold it in, pressing his free palm against his mouth to keep from making any noise, and then rinsed off immediately and shut off the water.

He stood there, letting the air dry and cool his skin, not reaching for the towel.

That kiss had been the best kiss of his life, despite how awkward he had been about it. And it was fake. All of it, none of this was real—he just had to keep reminding himself of that. It would be easier when they went back to Tokyo, when they weren’t cramped together in such close quarters. It had to be, because otherwise.... Otherwise, this would never work. Not unless Yuuri wanted to end up heartbroken.

\---

Yuuri took his time getting dressed and ready to meet the day. When he finally made his way downstairs, it was to the sound of Victor laughing with his family—something he felt he could almost get used to, if things were different. 

“I’m so sad we have to leave tomorrow,” he heard Victor saying as he walked into the dining room. “Hasetsu is so charming, especially its residents!”

Yuuri’s heart constricted, but he forced the feeling away. Of course Victor would be saying something like that. Hadn’t he wanted his family to like Victor? Things were going exactly as the two of them had talked about. Yuuri just hadn’t realized he would be so weak, so unable to deal with the ugly reality lurking beneath the fantasy.

“I hope you’ll both come visit more often,” Hiroko was saying. “Tokyo isn’t so far, maybe you can spare some days a few times a year?”

“Of course,” Victor said brightly. “I know Yuuri misses home, and I understand why. I’ll miss it here, too. Ah! Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Victor continued, spotting Yuuri in the doorway. “Don’t you agree, darling? We should be able to vacation here more often!”

“Sure,” Yuuri agreed noncommittally, his vacation days—or lack of—flashing in his head. He supposed Victor could take care of that too, if he wanted. The thought made him feel slightly nauseated. 

Victor reached for his hand, giving it a slight squeeze, but Yuuri didn’t squeeze back. “I thought we’d spend most of today here in the onsen? If that’s okay?” he asked, his tone going a bit softer, more hesitant. Yuuri just nodded.

Victor looked like he wanted to say something else, but Hiroko was still beaming at them. “I’ll make breakfast! Victor, would you like to help me in the kitchen today?”

“Yes!” Victor exclaimed immediately. “Will you teach me to make Yuuri’s favorite foods?”

Yuuri flushed. “You don’t have to.”

“Nonsense! Of course I will teach you. Yuuri can help Toshiya clean the onsen while we cook today.”

“Why am I getting the short end of the stick?” Yuuri protested, but Hiroko just laughed, and Victor—the traitor—winked at him as he followed her to the kitchen.

\---

Yuuri didn’t see Victor again for most of the day, which allowed him some space to put his thoughts together.

Unfortunately, his thoughts led him to one conclusion: he couldn’t do this. His silly crush on an unattainable Victor was very quickly turning into real feelings. This whole scheme was Victor’s idea—but did that make it fair, to take advantage of the closeness they were being forced into?

He was out in the garden, sitting on the steps and tugging a rope with Vicchan, when Victor escaped the kitchen and found him.

Victor didn’t say anything, but bumped Yuuri’s shoulder as he sat down. Vicchan immediately abandoned the rope in favor of sniffing around Victor’s ankles and Victor laughed, picking him up. “I think he smells the food on me.”

“Mm.”

Yuuri didn’t try to make conversation. It was almost comfortable, sitting in silence and watching Victor laugh and play with his dog. Something else that was almost easy, almost wonderful. It made Yuuri’s heart hurt.

When Victor set Vicchan down again, the dog enthusiastically bounced around his legs, barking until Victor started idly tossing a ball for Vicchan to chase. “I wanted to talk to you, Yuuri,” Victor said after a few tosses. “About the deal we made. We haven’t had a lot of time to ourselves to discuss it.”

Oh. Yuuri should have known Victor would realize his feelings were getting in the way—he hadn’t been subtle these last few days. Hadn’t he even been thinking that maybe this whole plan was a crazy mistake?

It still hurt though.

“I wanted to talk to you, too,” Yuuri said with more conviction than he felt, and he pushed on, wanting to get this out so that Victor didn’t have to be the one to do it. “I never should have agreed to this plan.”

“What?”

Yuuri turned to him. He supposed the surprise on Victor’s face wasn’t wholly unexpected. “I’m sorry for any trouble it might create with your family, but I can’t go through with marrying you.” His voice was flat and toneless, as he struggled with himself to get the words out.

“But—”

“Thank you for coming to Hasetsu with me,” Yuuri cut him off, bowing lowly. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

“Yuuri—”

“I’ll stay out of your hair tonight.” Yuuri stood. He was surprised to see that Victor was crying; but then, he was probably ruining all of the stories Victor had told his family. It made him hesitate, just for a second—long enough for Victor to reach out, grabbing his hand.

“Yuuri, _wait_.” Victor stood, clutching Yuuri’s hand as if afraid he would pull away and simply run—which, truthfully, was tempting. “Please. Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, of course not.” Yuuri could feel his own tears threatening, and he desperately wanted to get out of there before they fell. “But I… I don’t want to have a fake relationship. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

“I don’t want that either, Yuuri. Please, I—”

“Okay then,” Yuuri said, yanking his hand away from Victor finally. “I’m glad we agree.” He turned, trying to hide the fact that his own tears were falling after all, and finally ran.

“Yuuri, _wait_!” he heard Victor call behind him—but he didn’t wait. He kept running, away from the onsen. Away from Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry ;;;


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coping and conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to my great betas, [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold)! ♥

Yuuri liked to run. He went out for a morning jog most days before work, losing himself in the music in his headphones, finding it relaxing and energizing all at once. 

Now, the stamina he’d built from his morning runs let him keep ahead of Victor, quickly disappearing into the familiar streets of Hasetsu. He didn’t want to hear whatever Victor wanted to say—he didn’t want the apologies, didn’t want Victor to be nice to him while telling him it would only ever be fake between them. Victor was kind and would be gentle about it, but Yuuri preferred ripping off the band-aid.

He didn’t know what this would mean for Victor and his family troubles. Perhaps he’d have to return to Russia after all. Maybe that would be the best thing for Yuuri, too. Not that Yuuri was likely to have a job after this.

That thought brought him crashing to a halt, and his hands hit his knees as he doubled over, panting. Three years of hard work and dedication to Nikiforov Publishing—down the drain because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check.

He forced his breathing to slow, counting his breathes and trying to control his panic. He couldn’t handle the idea of seeing anyone, and knew he couldn’t return to the onsen tonight. Not knowing where else to go to be alone, Yuuri finally found himself at the love hotel near the beach. It was strange to be checking into love hotel at all, and weirdly lonely too, but at least he knew he wouldn’t be disturbed. He went quickly through the process at the check-in computer, selecting a room at random and hurrying to it.

The door clicked locked behind him, and Yuuri let go—all of the emotion from the day came pouring out of him, choking him. Crying was cathartic and no one was around to judge, so Yuuri let himself cry until he couldn’t anymore. Even after his tears dried, he tossed and turned for hours before finally falling into a restless, fitful sleep.

\---

Yuuri laid in bed, listless, as he watched the sun rise through the windows. Clarity came with the bright morning sun stabbing at his eyes, and he knew he should have stayed, should have listened to whatever Victor wanted to say. He had run so hastily from Victor. After calming down and recovering from his sobbing last night, he’d realized how stupid it was to have run away without his phone and without contacting anyone. His family was probably incredibly worried. 

Victor was probably worried too. Victor had been good to him, had charmed his family, had taken a long weekend away from his busy life to try and make Yuuri more comfortable with their arrangement. He hadn’t needed to do any of that.

Yuuri was ashamed of his emotional outburst, but he couldn’t convince himself to roll out of bed until his time on the room was almost up. He needed to go back to the onsen to apologize to his family—and especially to Victor—but just thinking about doing so made him feel like he was suffocating. He had to figure out how to work off some of what he was feeling first.

Avoidance only made Yuuri’s feelings of shame deeper, but it was also what he was best at. After checking out of the hotel, he meandered the streets, not paying attention to where he was going, except to turn away from any path which led back to the onsen. Eventually he found himself in front of Minako’s studio.

“Yuuri!” Minako exclaimed, when she opened the door at his knocking. “Your mother called me last night, they’re worried sick. Are you all right?”

Yuuri bowed to her. “I’m sorry for worrying everyone. I’m okay, but please… I need some time.”

Minako was frowning as she opened the door wider to usher him in. “Of course, Yuuri.” 

She knew better than to ask if he wanted to talk about it, and Yuuri was grateful. He didn’t have proper work out clothes with him, but that was fine—he wasn’t here for a proper work out anyway. Just for the space to clear his head.

Minako left him alone, and Yuuri took advantage of the time, running through basic drills. He lost himself in the movement, letting it clear his head and calm his anxiety. The familiar surroundings and movements relaxed him, and he quickly lost track of time.

As he calmed, his perspective of the evening before sharpened into focus. He finally stopped, exhausted, and flopped onto the ground. Minako must have been watching without him knowing, because she walked back in and sat beside him immediately.

“I messed up,” Yuuri told her, feeling the tears prick at his eyes once more. “I messed everything up. With Victor.”

“Whatever you think you messed up, I’m sure you haven’t,” she told him gently. “The man is clearly over the moon for you. You’ve been here long enough. Go talk to him, Yuuri.”

Yuuri knew Minako was wrong how Victor felt about him, but she was right about one thing: he couldn’t keep avoiding Victor forever. It was time to go home and face reality.

\---

When Yuuri finally returned to the onsen, he went immediately to the kitchen, knowing he’d find his mother there. He needed a moment alone with her and was glad to see that Victor wasn’t with her.

“Yuuri!” she jumped, surprised when she turned and saw him in the doorway. “Where have you been?”

Yuuri winced at her tone, though he had expected her to be upset with him. “I’m sorry. Victor and I… well… I just needed some time.”

Her expression softened slightly, but Yuuri knew not all was forgiven. “Victor was beside himself with worry, and thinks he ruined things with you. He wouldn’t tell us what happened. Are you okay?”

Yuuri hung his head. He’d left Victor to pretend to be heartbroken to his parents, which wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair. “I’m okay now. I’m just… I don’t think the engagement was a good idea.”

Hiroko hummed, wiping her hands on her apron and taking it off to hang on a hook by the pantry. She reached out, pulling Yuuri over to a small breakfast table set in a corner of the kitchen. “Marriage is a big step, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly,” she said as she sat down across from him. “If you feel it’s too soon then probably it is. But you don’t seem happy with your decision, so do you really feel that way?”

Yuuri stared at his hands, twisting them in front of him. “It’s complicated.”

She nodded. “It usually is,” she paused, considering her son. “I just want you to be happy. I like Victor, and he is obviously very in love with you, but if you don’t feel the same way, then you shouldn’t try and force it.”

Yuuri looked up, startled. “No, I-- no, it’s not that. I feel very strongly for him.” When she smiled at him, Yuuri knew she had expected this answer, and he smiled back ruefully. “I guess I need to talk to Victor. I’ll go find him.”

As he started to stand, he was stopped by a hand on his arm. “Victor left this afternoon,” she told him gently.

“What?” Yuuri fell back into his chair, startled. “He left?” Yuuri’s chest constricted.

“You missed your flight,” she reminded him. “You should catch the next one, and talk to him when you’re home with him again.”

Yuuri hesitated. “Maybe…”

“No,” Hiroko cut him off. “I told you after so that you wouldn’t worry about it first. That poor man left here heartbroken, Yuuri. Whatever you decide for your happiness, at least talk to him about it.”

Yuuri swallowed hard, and then nodded. Satisfied, Hiroko stood. “You won’t be able to get another flight until morning. Help me with dinner.”

There wasn’t another choice, and Yuuri followed her direction—but when they finished, he couldn’t eat a bite; it all tasted like ash in his mouth.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Of course Victor would leave and return to Tokyo—what reason would he have had to stay? Without the promise of their marriage to fool his family, he had no reason to want to wait for Yuuri, or even speak to him again.

Yuuri made apologies to his family, and left the dinner table before anyone else was even done. He could feel their gazes on him, but kept his head down and escaped to his room. Vicchan ran through the door just before Yuuri clicked it shut. The small dog whined, sensing Yuuri’s mood, and Yuuri absentmindedly pet him for a minute, before starting to pace his room.

Now that he’d decided he should try and talk to Victor after all, this waiting was fraying on his nerves. He wasn’t tired, but he didn’t want to be around his family or anyone in the onsen, either, and he felt like he would vibrate through the walls of his room.

When he was young, there had always been one surefire way to calm himself down. He avoided it for hours, but finally felt himself reaching for the books on his bookshelf—the set by _Victor Nikiforov._

He pulled down Victor’s first novel, perching on the edge of his bed and staring at the cover. He was trying to resolve the two Victors; _Victor Nikiforov_ on the cover, and the Victor Nikiforov he had slowly but surely fallen for. After a long moment of hesitation, he opened the book—and immediately dropped it on the ground, as though it had burst into flames.

Vicchan jumped to his side again, rubbing against his legs in distress because of the sound Yuuri had just made. Yuuri took a moment, picking Vicchan up and calming him before releasing him again onto his bed. Slowly he reached down and picked the book up, flipping it open to the first page, where a brand new inscription was penned into it, as though it was mocking Yuuri.

_Yuuri, thank you for being such a fan! I look forward to adding your book to my collection as well. Love, Victor._

He stared at for a long time, before closing the book and sliding it back onto his shelf.

He laid down and curled around Vicchan, crying himself to sleep for the second night in a row.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, Victor will appear in more than just Yuuri's thoughts in the next chapter...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri returns to Tokyo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold)! ♥

Even after the conversation with his mother, Yuuri considered staying in Hasetsu. Victor had already left. Wouldn’t it be better for both of them if Yuuri just let him go? Yuuri had reacted badly, but that didn’t actually _change_ anything.

His mother wouldn’t hear of it, and she and Minako made sure Yuuri got his flight changed. He spent a few minutes saying goodbye to Vicchan and promising to be back soon before he was practically thrown into Minako’s car and driven to the train station.

Yuuri worked himself in circles during the train ride, imagining what Victor would say when he showed up in Tokyo a day later than planned. Not to mention, what should _he_ say? He was sorry for running away, but… but he’d meant what he said. Agreeing to a marriage of strictly business had been a mistake, and Yuuri couldn’t do it. He couldn’t marry Victor, feeling the way he felt while knowing that Victor only saw him as a business partner, or maybe—at best—a friend.

By the time he’d reached the airport, his thoughts about seeing Victor again had twisted his insides so much he could barely spare any time to worry about being on time for his flight, making it through security, and all the other worries that normally came with travelling. During the flight, his fingers tap-tap-tapped against his leg and he wasn’t able to find any calm within himself.

Before Yuuri could possibly be ready he was deposited back in Tokyo. He took a train and then a bus from the airport to his apartment, but he couldn’t bring himself to go into the building. As he stood staring at his home, he knew that if he went inside he would hide there forever. So instead, he turned and walked the familiar path to work, dragging his suitcase behind him.

It was Monday. Victor would be back at work. Perhaps if they talked there, in his office, the professional setting would help keep him from getting too emotional. It seemed almost too much to hope for, but Yuuri had to tell himself _something_ to keep his feet moving.

He left the bag he’d been dragging behind him under his desk, figuring he could retrieve it when he inevitably had to collect the rest of his personal effects on his way out as well.

“I need to see Vi— Mr. Nikiforov, please,” he mumbled at the secretary behind the desk as he approached Victor’s office with lead in his feat.

She didn’t even look up. “He’s not here.”

Yuuri blinked, truly surprised to silence for a moment. “Not here? Where is he?”

She glanced up then, clearly annoyed. “At home I guess. I’m not his keeper outside of work, he didn’t show up today.”

Yuuri frowned, and retreated with a quick apology for disturbing her. Why wouldn’t Victor have returned to work? They’d only had a short vacation, originally planning to be back at work today.

He exited the building again, leaving his things behind, and breathed deeply in the outside air as he considered his options. He could just go home—no one could say he hadn’t tried. No one except Victor, who would probably never even know he’d stopped by the office today.

Did he really owe Victor anything, though?

Maybe not, but if Yuuri was being honest with himself, he knew he owed it to himself. If he didn’t sit down and try to have a real conversation with Victor after this, he would always regret it.

With that weighing on his mind, he finally pulled out the card Victor had given him on the night they struck their deal and flipped it over, where an address was written in neat, precise penmanship. Victor had wanted Yuuri to have ways of contacting him, and Yuuri took advantage of it now by putting the address into the GPS in his phone and navigating his way to Victor’s home.

Yuuri was operating on autopilot at this point. He followed the instructions on his phone and tried to turn his brain off. With how much overthinking he’d been doing for the past day, combined with the weariness from travel, it wasn’t as hard as it usually would have been.

He had never considered seeing Victor’s apartment quite like this—he hadn’t considered it at all before Victor’s ‘proposal’. He’d only briefly thought about it since then, but he certainly had never believed he’d end up there for the first time with his tail between his legs. 

As it turned out, he didn’t have to worry about it. There was no answer to the buzzer when he tried to be let up to Victor’s apartment. The doorman took pity on him and let him try several times, but finally had to tell him to leave. 

Yuuri had no other ideas. He even ended up desperately texting Victor, but there was no response. With his shoulders slumped and his head hanging low, he had to admit defeat and trudge back to his own apartment, where he planned eat way too many calories, wrap in way too many blankets, and never emerge again.

Whatever he had wanted from a relationship with Victor—business, friendship, romantic—it wasn’t this. For a moment, just a moment, on the beach in Hasetsu he had convinced himself that Victor might care for him, too. Victor had fooled his friends, his family—and he’d almost fooled Yuuri, too. 

Yuuri had thought he was doing the right thing, for both of them. Now, with no way to talk to Victor, he knew he had just been stupid and selfish instead.

Out of options, Yuuri finally returned home and trudged up the stairs of his apartment building, shoulders hunched and eyes never lifting from the ground in front of him. As he entered the landing in front of his apartment he almost tripped over… legs?

He stumbled back, started to apologize—and froze. His brain had trouble comprehending what was in front of him: Victor, sitting in front of his door, and now scrambling to his feet. “Yuuri. I was waiting for you.”

Yuuri’s brain wouldn’t seem to turn back on. He was staring, and took a beat too long to respond. When he did, he could only think of one thing to say. “Why?”

“I think we need to talk,” Victor ran a hand through his hair, looking visibly nervous even to Yuuri. “Please, Yuuri.”

Yuuri hesitated again. All day he’d be wanting to find Victor, and now he was here, and it was so unexpected that Yuuri didn’t know how to respond. Finally, he nodded. “I wanted to talk to you, too.”

“You did?” Victor asked, surprised.

Yuuri winced, remembering that as far as Victor knew, Yuuri had run away, dramatically avoiding any attempt at conversation. “I’m sorry… for not giving you a chance to talk before. You can come inside, if you want.”

Yuuri couldn’t quite look Victor in the eye, but he unlocked his door and led him inside anyway, fidgeting and stalling with taking off his coat and shoes.

He had never expected to come home and find Victor waiting for him. In fact, in his trek back to his apartment he had all but convinced himself that Victor must have run immediately back to Russia—ridiculous, of course, since Yuuri knew perfectly well that Victor didn’t want to return.

“Yuuri,” Victor called, pulling Yuuri back out of his thoughts. “Can we sit?” he asked, gesturing Yuuri towards his own couch.

Yuuri did sit, and once Victor had followed suit he said, “I’m sorry I ran like that. I should have finished our conversation, as difficult as it is.”

“Yuuri, I—”

“Wait, please, just let me say this.” Victor’s brow furrowed but he stayed silent, and Yuuri took a deep breath before continuing on. “I’m sorry I cancelled our deal the way I did. Of course I don’t want to cause trouble for you and your family, and I don’t want to force you into a position where you have to leave the country. Maybe… maybe we can figure out another way, fake the marriage for them. Find someone else to stand in. I don’t know. Anything else,” Yuuri trailed off, looking anywhere but at Victor.

“Is it my turn now?” Victor asked mildly. Yuuri still wouldn’t look at him, but he nodded. Victor sighed, leaning back into the couch. He didn’t say anything for a minute, and Yuuri felt the awkwardness creeping along his spine.

“I should have found a different way to approach you,” Victor said finally. “When the situation came up with my parents, I suppose I panicked. You must have thought me so strange.”

“I didn’t…”

Victor glanced over, eyebrow raised, and Yuuri smiled ruefully as he caught it out of the corner of his eye. All right, so he had thought the situation a bit odd, but who wouldn’t?

“The truth is, I didn’t want to go back to Russia because of _you_ , Yuuri.”

Yuuri frowned, finally turning towards Victor again. “What?”

“I’ve spent three years trying to figure out how to approach you. I didn’t want to overstep my bounds, since you technically work for me—but you’re dedicated, you’re brilliant, and you’re beautiful too.”

Yuuri was dreaming, it was the only explanation. Clearly-a-dream-Victor continued: “When my parents tried to force my hand to move back to Russia, and I realized I would lose my shot at ever asking you out, I was talking about how I couldn’t move because I was already engaged before I really knew what I was doing.”

“You… I don’t understand…” Yuuri’s mental faculties were taking a vacation, he wasn’t comprehending any of this, it all seemed too unreal.

Victor reached out, pausing just long enough to give Yuuri a chance to protest, and then took his hand, cupping it in both of his. “I don’t want to have a fake relationship either, Yuuri. I really like you. Please, give me a chance to start over, to court you properly.”

“You… you can’t mean that…” Yuuri pulled his hands away from Victor, stumbling off of the couch and standing. His legs were like jelly beneath him. “You can’t just _say_ something like that…”

Victor immediately stood as well, reaching out for Yuuri again, as though afraid he would disappear if he didn’t hold on. “Of course I mean it, Yuuri. I wanted to wait for you in Hasetsu, but I didn’t want to scare you. I got back here and I realized I couldn’t just walk away. I had to at least try to tell you how I feel.”

There was wetness on Yuuri’s cheeks, and he realized he was crying. He didn’t quite know when that had happened. Victor kept one of Yuuri’s hands firmly in his, reaching the other out to brush the tears from his eyes. “Yuuri?” he asked softly, clearly not certain how his declaration was being received.

“Yes,” Yuuri said hoarsely. “Yes, please, let’s start over. I want that, too.”

Victor’s smile broke across his face like a sunrise, soft and sweet and brilliant. He lifted Yuuri’s hand, gently pressing a kiss to the center of his palm. Yuuri laughed, pulling his hand away and wiping the rest of his tears.

“You’ve really liked me all this time?” he asked, feeling overwhelmed, and happy.

“I spent hours pouring over your edits,” Victor admitted, sheepishly. “You make everything you touch better. How could I _not_ be interested in you?”

Yuuri flushed, his embarrassment causing him to look down and away. “I’ve had a crush on you for ages,” he admitted, mumbling through the words. “I never thought you’d even look at me.”

Victor reached out, gently lifting Yuuri’s chin to look at him again. “Can I kiss you now?” he asked softly. “I’d really like to kiss you now.”

Yuuri nodded, and Victor leaned in, brushing his lips lightly across Yuuri’s. There was a moment of doubt, of fumbling, of not quite knowing what to do—and then Yuuri tilted his head and Victor pressed closer and _oh_ —that’s what people meant when they talked about a kiss being like fireworks. Yuuri wound his arms around Victor’s neck as Victor wrapped his arms around his waist and tugged him closer, and for a while, they forgot about anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, communication ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡  
> Thank you very much to everyone who has commented and/or left kudos! I appreciate all of them. ♥  
> Just an epilogue left to post o(*^▽^*)o


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happily Ever After ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to my betas [Elleren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthelobster/pseuds/imthelobster) and [Meri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/merigold). I honestly couldn't have finished this without the two of you! ♥♥♥

_A year or so later...._

Yuuri stretched languidly, blinking awake. His thoughts were foggy with sleep, but after a moment the furrow in his brow smoothed out as he remembered that he was in a hotel room, not at home. 

Anxiety curled slow in his belly—he and Victor had arrived in St. Petersburg last night, and he was going to be meeting Victor’s family today. They’d gotten a hotel room so that he could sleep off some of the jetlag before meeting them. He’d spoken to them before, done video chats and the like… but he and Victor were finally getting married—for real—next month, and it was time to meet the family in person before flying them out to Japan for the wedding.

He forcibly pushed away the thoughts of everything that might go wrong. Turning, he pouted at the other side of the bed, which was empty and cold.

Victor walked out of the bathroom just in time to catch sight of that pout and laughed at him. “Good morning, _solnyshko_ ,” he murmured, leaning down over the bed to catch Yuuri’s lips.

“Mmm,” Yuuri caught the collar of Victor’s robe, tugging him back down when he went to rise—but Victor didn’t protest, happily following Yuuri until he was lying on the bed again, stretching out his long limbs. 

“It’s a better morning now. Why are you up so early?”

Victor shrugged, as best he could while laying down, while his hand traced patterns along Yuuri’s side. “It’s a big day. I couldn’t sleep anymore.”

“Are _you_ nervous?” Yuuri asked incredulously.

“Of course I am,” Victor answered easily. His confidence was evident even while admitting to his nerves—Yuuri loved him for it, but he was jealous of the ability too.

“Well,” Yuuri hesitated, stretching out the word. He shifted closer to Victor, biting his lip and trailing his fingers along Victor’s arm. “Maybe… we both need to relax this morning, first?”

Victor’s soft morning smile turned predatory in an instant. “Oh? What do you suggest, my Yuuri?”

Yuuri rolled, forcing Victor onto his back and straddling his hips. He leaned down and caught one quick kiss as Victor’s hands settled lightly on his waist, just resting. “Distract me,” Yuuri murmured against his lips, and Victor’s hands tightened briefly, before moving down and squeezing Yuuri’s ass.

Deftly, he flipped them over, grinding his slowly hardening arousal against Yuuri. “I think I can manage that,” he agreed with a smirk.

There was no more talking after that, just the feel of Victor’s lips scorching against Yuuri, the long toned line of his body covering him and moving against him. Victor’s fingers, trailing desire everywhere they touched. Victor took his time, touching everywhere except where Yuuri wanted, driving him to the edges of patience—and when he finally started working him open, his touches were slow and patient there too.

It was so good.

It was _maddening._

When Victor slid inside him, it was like coming home. He rocked against Yuuri slowly, driving Yuuri mad, but he was relentless in how gentle and patient he could be when he wanted. Yuuri was writhing under him, desperate—just how Victor liked him best, completely consumed with the moment they were in, with the love they were making together.

Yuuri felt almost timeless, but finally Victor increased his pace by a fraction and reached to take Yuuri in hand. He cried out almost immediately, tensing around Victor as he screwed his eyes shut and let himself come undone, as he felt Victor doing the same within him.

They lay together for a while after, not saying anything, but just breathing the same air as Victor ran his hands through Yuuri’s hair. 

Yuuri leaned up to rub his nose lightly against Victor’s. “I’m all sticky,” he complained.

Victor laughed and stood, tugging a protesting Yuuri up with him. “Come on then, _solnyshko_. Time to get ready to face the day.”

They showered together, washing off the evidence of their morning activities. While toweling off afterwards, Yuuri felt his nerves coming back despite himself. He pulled on the nice, dark pair of jeans he had brought for this day—casual, but not _too_ casual—and the maroon button-up shirt. He looked in the mirror and immediately began tugging the shirt back off, impatiently.

“Yuuri,” Victor came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist, stalling his frantic digging through his luggage. “There’s no need to be so nervous. They already love you.”

“I know, but… what if they still want you to move to Russia? We can, you know, I don’t want them to hate me.”

“Yuuri, Yuuri,” Victor said, turning him in his arms and reaching up to cup his face with both hands. “They accepted that I would be living in Japan months and months ago, remember? If you want to discuss moving to Russia at some point, we can—but not for their sake. And not now, when it’s coming from a place of anxiety. Anywhere we live together, I will be happy, and my family will be happy for me. Okay?”

Yuuri took a deep, shuddering breath, and nodded. Victor kissed his forehead, his nose, and finally brushed a soft kiss against his lips. “Okay,” Yuuri breathed, smiling at Victor.

Victor smiled in return while reaching behind Yuuri, tugging a soft cream sweater out of his luggage. “Now, here. I love the way this looks on you.”

Yuuri took the sweater from Victor and tugged it on, giving himself an appraising glance in the mirror. Victor was right—the soft, comfortable look was exactly what he was going for. _Look at me, I’m the perfect man to marry your son._ Well, hopefully that’s what they would think when they saw him, anyway.

A few minutes later they were pulling on their coats, and Victor took Yuuri’s scarf, wrapping it securely around his neck. Yuuri caught his hands before he was done, pressing a kiss to the tips of his fingers before nuzzling his cheek into Victor’s palm. “I love you,” he said softly, feeling the fluttering in his chest that saying those words so freely still gave him.

Victor beamed back at him. “I love you too, my Yuuri.” He leaned down, capturing Yuuri in another kiss. They forgot themselves for a moment, Victor pressing Yuuri back against the wall.

Yuuri ran his hands through Victor’s hair, clutching at the strands as he kissed back as good as he got, before pulling back with a gasp and a laugh. “We’re going to be late if you keep kissing me like that.”

“They can wait,” Victor said with a light growl, nipping at Yuuri’s lips.

Yuuri laughed again, shoving Victor back as the other man pouted at him. “Come on,” he said, reaching out and intertwining his fingers with Victor’s. “I want to make a good impression on my soon-to-be-in-laws.”

Victor’s smile broke over his face once more at the reminder of their wedding, and he toyed with the ring on Yuuri’s finger. “Thank you for agreeing to marry me, my Yuuri.”

Yuuri flushed, and then grinned. “Which time?”

Victor laughed, wrapping an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders as he ushered them out the door. “I’ll ask you a million times, just to hear you say _yes_.”

Yuuri’s expression softened as he wrapped an arm around Victor’s waist in turn. “I will say yes,” he said, pleased to see the love in Victor’s eyes as he did so. “Every single time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! (*/。＼)
> 
> Thank you everyone who has read, left kudos, commented, subscribed, bookmarked... anything! This is the first fic I've posted in a very long time, and I'm so glad I got to share it with all of you. ♥


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